


If rudimentary tools were available, I might change my tune, but the grizzly has already received its arsenal from nature. A grizzly bear was made to fight a lion for the entertainment of a twisted businessman in China (something I abhor and have actually refused to watch on YouTube, even when friends have suggested it would be interesting, I’ve said no and actually left pretending to need a wee to avoid sullying my eyeballs with wanton filth such as this), and it knocked off the savannah dweller’s head with one swipe. The grizzly bear, as a top carnivore, has an unbelievable skull density, and even if one of the gorillas gets a choke-hold, that grizzly will rear and fall back to crush it. You’ve got to understand that the gorilla has no real killer move. Of course this battle is dependent on geographical and logistical Nebensachen, but let’s take neutral grassland, something like Parker’s Piece or the Madejski Stadium. This couple will be working together, looking to flank the bear. I imagine they’ll be choking and gouging, but their main strength, like a human person, will be their thoughts.

We’re talking silverbacks here and, goodness me, do they have good arm strength, enough to propel 100 kilos of monkey madness through mid to high foliage and branchwear at 20 miles an hour.
